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| Photo Courtesy of Angelisse Perez |
Being a single mom though is not new to me. As a military spouse I had to go several months at a time separated from my husband and so therefore had to take the brunt of all my parenting time. I wonder if people really realize how hard it is. I love my children more than anything in the world besides God but times come when moms need that time alone and as a single parent well those times hardly ever come. I mean if you are anything like me you have three amazing kids, and no I am not biased my children are just downright awesome filled with awesome rolled into a ball of awesomeness, but they are big enough to fend for themselves. My children are ages 14, 12, and about to turn 11. In this picture above though they are tiny but I really love this picture of us all together. My kids can do for themselves now but I remember the days of being a stay at home mom to not only my three kids but my sisters three kids as well. Oh I remember my youngest being just a toddler and my niece who was the oldest was no more than 9-10 years old.
When I came back home after leaving El Paso my niece and nephews were reminiscing of the times when they got to be home with me and all that I would do. Here are some amazing and fun rainy day ideas for your kids when you can't take them all to run off the steam at the local park.
1. One day I had while the kids were in school, even my youngest cause he was in Head Start, I went to the dollar store and picked up goody bags (kinda like the ones you make for your child's birthday party) and six different pieces of yarn. When the kids came home from school I had them stay in the playroom, more like I kept yelling get back in there or you wont get your surprise like every two seconds, and took the six different pieces of yarn and intertwined them throughout the house like an obstacle course. Of course making it more challenging for the older ones and at the end of the yarn was their goody bag.
2. I make homemade donuts. This is fun for all ages. You take a Pillsbury Dough can and take a melon baller to cut doughnut holes in each biscuits. Fry them for less then a minute on each side and here is where the kids have fun. Have them place the doughnuts and the holes in zip lock bags with sugar and cinnamon and shake while listening to fun music.
3. I would pick up all the kids from school. I had six with my sister's kids as well so it was going to the Head Start, the Elementary School, and the Middle School each day. We were a one car family so I also had to pick the husband up at work too. I would get the last kid which was my niece at the middle school and tell them it takes me 20 minutes from here to the park next to my husband's job. If we get there and your homework is done you get to play, if not we sit in the car and finish it first. The fun part was going through the bumpy roads or taking the turns really wide through the neighborhood and hearing the kids moan and yell. Once we get to the park if homework was finished we would take the cooler and go sit down first at the picnic table for snack and then they got almost a full hour to play spy games or Power Ranger games with me being the one giving them out their missions. Rule of thumb always have the missions pre-selected before you go.
Now those were fun! I miss those days and while I took care of the kids, all six of them by myself, I was not a single mom per say because I had a husband who would come home. This last deployment was a hard one as a single mom because I was dealing with the cancer as well. Here is a picture of me right before I lost my hair, I was having a hard day and my kids decided to make me feel like a queen. I love my kids.
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| Photo Courtesy of Evy Alicea |
Even though single parenting is hard, even though some days you are with six kids all under the age of 10 and all you want to do is have a grown up conversation with your best friend so you pretend to play "hide and go seek" and hide inside the closet whispering the whole time in fear that you will be discovered kids are the best blessings in life. Now while I believe my children are amazing and wonderful I am also an advocate of mothers taking time to yourselves before you burn out. A burned out mother is no good to her children. Here are some great things to give you a good break from the kiddos every now and again.
1. If you have a good set of friends arrange with them to trade off babysitting. That way you can give your kids to your good friend for several hours to either go get a mani/pedi, go shopping, go to the movies, or my all time favorite: GO TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT INTERRUPTION!
2. Find a sitter and save. I am all about saving and having a little set aside every now and again. Go out to eat with friends or have a date with your spouse.
3. If you have amazing family see if they would be willing to take the kids for the weekend and schedule a weekend girls trip. Those are fun! I miss having those!!
My kids are my world and my life but as a single mother right now I have to see that I am now both mom and dad to them because I have to fill both roles. In my situation right now I am the only biological parent they have. I say biological because my friends and family have been great to help me with the task of parenting. When my marriage first broke I felt so guilty and it was hard for me to be able to parent properly. They were feeling so sad and abandoned that the thought of discipline was hard for me. Now don't get me wrong, one thing I have always prided myself on was that I was a fun mom but I was a strict mom too. My kids were not going to be the ones cursing or wearing too provocative attire. My kids would know how to say please and thank you and call everyone either Mr, Mrs, Ms or Sir and Madam. But when the marriage was over and the kids felt such an abandonment a part of me found it hard to discipline. It took me a good three weeks to not just say yes to every whim they had or not correct them when they did something wrong. Now I had to do it. My daughter found it in her self to decide to back talk to me the other day. Oh was I seeing red, but I took a few breaths first and then calmly told her this: "Just because I am friendly with you does not make me your friend. I am your mother first and foremost and you will speak to me in such a way". Wow that was enlightening to me and it reminded me to still be mom and dad now even if it was hard to do so.
God gave us a great ability and a great gift when he made us mothers. Just because He gave us this great gift does not mean it will all be rainbows, sunshine and unicorns if you are into that sort of thing. Motherhood is hard, like when your child has their first broken heart, or they are hurting either physically or emotionally, or dear Lord God Almighty when they turn into a teenager and roll their eyes and tell you WHATEVER! But even through the hard times, joy always comes in raising children you are proud of and are so in love with.
"The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26 ESV.
Thank you for joining me readers as I talk about one of the best joys in my life, my kids and my role as their mother.
And as always.....
Be Blessed in HIM
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