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| Photo Courtesy of Angelisse Perez and Doctor Who is Owned by the BBC Network |
So why is this post titled Surviving with The Doctor? Well readers I am a huge fan of the show and I began to love it more and more especially the last time I was going through chemo. You see with Doctor Who I could sit there with my kids and watch a show where good always triumphs over evil. You see I was in a dark place and to be 100% honest with you all because I have given myself the disclosure that if I am going to do this blog I am going to be 100% open and honest in what I share I am still in a dark place and its good to have something you can watch and it reminds you that well you know what good does win over evil.
When I went through chemo the first time I did not have my ex with me. I did chose to make the conscience effort to send him off on deployment and yes I got many a weird look and many an argument by those who love me telling me to ask him to come home but I stuck to my guns and had him stay in Kuwait instead. You see the deployment was not a dangerous one for him. I justified it to myself that it was better he ride this deployment through instead of coming home to be with me and then once I was better having him deploy somewhere dangerous like Afghanistan. Well I think somehow God knew it better for him to be over there too because he kept me strong in sending him when truth be told there were days he was all I wanted. But if he would have come home trust me my marriage would have been over sooner. You see it was a difficult journey and he would have just left sooner I believe. I was also in a dark place because I did not have my mom, my dad, my sisters to take care of me. They were after all in Orlando while I was in El Paso. I had an amazing support group of women and church friends who took care of me but they were not my biological family and I make it a point to mention biological because they did become family none the less. Now I am undergoing chemo again and yet I am in a dark place AGAIN. This time I am without my husband again because he chose to be away this time and permanently, this time my finances are a mess because due to the impending divorce I had to leave my job, I am dealing with hearing they are planning to get married even though, even though we are still legally married, I miss my friends who became my family, I miss having my own home and doing things my own way, I miss alone time because the three kids and I share two bedrooms so therefore I do not even get my own room as a grown woman. I am just in a dark place.
In the show Doctor Who the Doctor faces one faithful foe (he has many but the one faithful foe he has that constantly comes back into the picture) and they are the Daleks. For my readers who do not know what a Dalek is picture a very large, very angry R2D2. These Daleks are just hate rolled up into a massive metal encasement. The Daleks would be my ex right now. You see I chose to have NO contact with him, none whatsoever, but every time I am out and about making my life my own and trying to be happy I get a text message from him. It is always one of picking a fight. ALWAYS. He says hateful things that make me wonder why? What could I have done to make him hate me so much? I stood by for 14 years, many moves, many financial hardships, deployments, and even a previous infidelity and yet he makes me, or correction he tries to make me feel like well I am a terrible person and someone so horrible to be married to or even associated to. I cannot understand why. The Daleks have this saying they say constantly, incessantly and annoyingly so and it is "EXTERMINATE" and they in the show want to exterminate the Doctor and the human race which he loves so much. My ex and his new fiancee want to seem to exterminate my joy.
The Doctor also has companions he travels with throughout space and time. The companions become his friends, his family, his loves. I see my companions as my children first and foremost. They were with me through it all. Through the hysterectomy, through the move to El Paso, through the making friends, through the deployments, through the chemo, through the jobs, through the move back home after realizing my marriage is over, they have been my companions through it all. My parents, my sisters, my friends both here and in El Paso, my nieces and nephews they are my companions too. They support me, they help me, they pull me through the dark moments and they "RUN" with me when the Daleks come to attack. You see when they attack the Doctor basically turns to his companions, grabs them by the hand and tells them to: RUN.
The Doctor also gets to run away sometimes too. I wish so badly sometimes to just run away. Run away and not face the problems but just like the Doctor if I try to escape them no matter what they follow me wherever I go. You see his Tardis, his time machine, doesn't always take him where he wants to go but to where he needs to go. When I left El Paso I thought I could run away to my parents house. I could run away and have them take care of me and everything. Now do not get me wrong my parents are amazing and they are helping me so much but I have to take care of my problems. Just because I wanted to run away from my problems and thought I would escape into Mars for a nice fun vacation I had to learn and discover that there is water on Mars and aliens bent on the destruction of those humans that I love so much! That was of course a Doctor Who reference and I apologize reader if you did not get it but it is a post on the show so therefore I am making the reference.
The Doctor meets some amazing people along the way. He meets a girl who is the Bad Wolf and ultimately falls in love with her but he himself can not be with her so gives his clone him to her (weird I know) but I see this as my ex and I can no longer be together. I do not want a clone of him but one day I might just get something way better. He meets a wonderful woman who falls in love with him but he is too dense to realize it and yet she meets the right man for her (the ex of the Bad Wolf) and well they have a happily ever after. I see this in my friends who loved some one before but that love was not the right love for them so they later on had to find the right one and now they are happier than they ever will be. He meets an infuriatingly wonderful woman (I love her and her sass) and they have a great friendship but he must leave her and make her forget him for her safety. I met some amazingly wonderful sassy women who I had the best friendships with and had to leave them. As much as I hope they never forget me their lives are different from mine now. I am no longer a wife like they are and let alone an Army wife either but as much I hope and pray we will be friends for the rest of our lives I am away from them. He then meets a little girl who became his best friend as she grew up. She traveled with him, she loved him her whole life, she fell in love with her childhood best friend who truth be told I fell in love with too because he is the model of a "perfect" husband if one really existed, she gave birth to his wife (again its sci-fi so it is weird like that) and she ultimately became his family! Their story is one of my favorites of all of the Doctor Who companions and stories. I have childhood friends who I still have. I love them as they were my family and they always will be. And now he is on to his latest companion who is the Impossible Girl. Who has been with him throughout his regenerations and has saved him one way or another. I see my sister as my Impossible Girl who saves me and protects me through it all. Oh and of course there is Captain Jack who well not only makes for great TV but makes for great visuals (I have just a small crush on him... LOL)
The Doctor has so much more meaning than all of this but this is why I say I survived with the Doctor. Good prevails over evil. Love knows no bounds through time and space. Friendships may come and go but the impact and legacy they leave lasts throughout the life times.
You see when I underwent chemo the last time I was in a dark place. As I undergo it again I am still in a dark place and I love the mental relief I get when I watch Doctor Who. "On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick." Matthew 9:12. I am sick. I have cancer, I am heart broken, I am down and I need A DOCTOR.
Thank you for joining along with me readers and I hope you can if you do not know about Doctor Who see what it is that I am talking about. It is a great show after all and as always....
Be Blessed in HIM
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